Self-analysis is vital to growth and change. You must study the WHY of your thoughts and emotions.
Example: Why do you eat so much chocolate? To comfort yourself. Why are you comforting yourself? You feel alone. Why are you alone? People are happier than you, don’t talk to you, don’t behave in the way you want them to. Why don’t they behave in the way you want? They are busy, they aren’t your personal servants, they want to live differently. Why aren’t you okay with that? You have a need to be seen, appreciated, to be social, but you don’t know how to do it so you control everyone and they yell at you or leave you. What can you do about it? See your behavior as a need for control and stop yourself from taking charge. Allow a situation to unfold. Or maybe you need to deal with deeper issues.
Find a way to sit with yourself and ask yourself these types of questions. Keep asking why like a stubborn two-year-old. If you feel uncomfortable, you are doing it right! Once you truly deal with these inner walls, you will truly change. The only person standing in your way is you.
Sometimes even sitting with yourself is not enough. Tell someone what you have discovered or write it down in a journal. You often have to voice your discoveries, your hurts, your wounds, to change your behavior. Admit your faults. Make and take steps to reverse the causes of your pain.
Lastly, forgive yourself. You are a work in progress, always learning new things. Forgive your past. Forgive your parents, your school bullies, your demons. You can’t change the past, but you can change your future.